Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many
years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value
lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't
always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies (don't spend more than you earn)
and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids,
are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well
intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in
place- Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with
sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly
student,
only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were
required to get parental consent to administer aspirin
to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a
student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband; churches became
businesses; and criminals received better treatment
than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman
failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was
hot. She spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a
huge financial settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by
two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on; if not,
join the majority and do nothing.
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