(no subject)

[captain_phil]

Middle Man
©John Prine

I was sitting in a diner
With a girl named Flo
She wouldn't say yes
But she couldn't say no
She said "Darling, Can I get a middle man?"
She was engaged to a fellow
On the lay a way plan
But she carried all her money
In a coffee can
She said "Darling, Can I get a middle man?"
The cook looked over
With a short order face
Dropped a fork
And he saw Flo's legs
Straightened his apron
And burnt my eggs
I got competition
Everywhere I go
These days

She was leaning on the juke box
And was lookin' real good
Like Natalie Wood
On a Pontiac hood
I said "Darling, I think I need a little hand"
Ya see, I've seen my downs
I've seen my ups
I seen miniature dogs
In coffee cups
But "Darling I ain't never seen a middle man"

Flo talked slow
Like real wet paint
She said
"A middle man's there
When the other ones ain't
He's got a left handed manner
That leans to the right
Sleeps all day
And keeps it up all night ..."
... I got an aunt in Ohio
And a boat that won't row
Some veterans insurance
And nowhere to go
"Darling, Can I be your middle man?"

(spoken)
If I could get the money in that coffee can
I could open me up a lemonade stand
Send all the kids off to Pakistan
Make Flo happy
If I can

Jerry Mahoney and Johnny B. Goode
Are gonna buy me a house in Hollywood
"Darling I think I got the perfect plan"
"We're gonna save half a dollars
And sell 'em to France
Buy us a record
And learn how to dance
And Darling I'll always be your middle
Darling Go buy a griddle
Darling I wanna be your middle man


Here's some good news I found this morning

and here's the horriblescope for

Try to pay attention to your gut instincts today, PHILLIP. The energy of the day could heighten your natural intuition. You may find that certain impressions just come to you, broadcast directly through your nervous system. You could pick up on someone's emotions or figure out their true motives. Your psychic radar will be especially strong, so don't ignore it! Your instincts could bring you some important guidance now.