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May. 19th, 2006 06:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_philRIP "Ramrod" Shurtliff
I found this interesting morsel of news this morning about a lead on where Jimmy Hoffa ended up. My guess is they'll come up emptyhanded, but the farm owners will get a nice new barn...
now something you'll really like..
SMOKING
Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
THE SCREAMER
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in here? You're scaring the customers!" he said. The drunk replied, " I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my testicles." With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot. You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
CAUGHT IN THE ACT
A father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that, son, or you'll go blind." The kid says, "Pop, I'm over here."
TWO SHOTS
This guy goes into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks one and pours the other on his hand. He then orders two more and does the same, drinks one and pours the other on his hand. After the third time, the bartender asks him what he's doing. The guy says, "I'm trying to get my date drunk."
and now
Eula
paul barrère & fred tackett
well now she taught school when she moved west
but we all knew what she did best
she like to stay out late at night down at the juke joint
and jump and shimmy 'til she felt allright
well it started long ago
so long i can't remember
might have been may, and it might 'a' been december
the boys in their pickups, hangin' out by the gate
'til her daddy come out yellin'
hey boys its gettin' late, now
eula.....everybody loves you
eula.....i love ya too, yeah
eula.....honey won't ya teach me
a thing or two that i can't learn in school
well the boy come down, down from missippi
the people all said he look just like a hippie
eula took a look at him the first day 'a' school
with his long hair, sideburns, yeah the boy is cool
down in the holler', in the dead 'a' night
doin' whatcha doin', whatcha doin' feelin' right
no one really knew exactly what went down
but two months later little eula left town
eula.....everybody loves you
eula.....i love ya too, yeah
eula.....honey won't ya teach me
a thing or two that i can't learn in school
we miss the sweet way, ya used to sashay
eula pretty girl, why did ya go
our hearts are breakin', we feel forsakin'
hey you were the heart 'a' dixie
eula.....everybody loves you
eula.....i love ya too, yeah
eula.....honey won't ya teach me
a thing or two that i can't learn in school
I found this interesting morsel of news this morning about a lead on where Jimmy Hoffa ended up. My guess is they'll come up emptyhanded, but the farm owners will get a nice new barn...
now something you'll really like..
SMOKING
Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
THE SCREAMER
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in here? You're scaring the customers!" he said. The drunk replied, " I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my testicles." With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot. You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
CAUGHT IN THE ACT
A father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that, son, or you'll go blind." The kid says, "Pop, I'm over here."
TWO SHOTS
This guy goes into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks one and pours the other on his hand. He then orders two more and does the same, drinks one and pours the other on his hand. After the third time, the bartender asks him what he's doing. The guy says, "I'm trying to get my date drunk."
and now
Eula
paul barrère & fred tackett
well now she taught school when she moved west
but we all knew what she did best
she like to stay out late at night down at the juke joint
and jump and shimmy 'til she felt allright
well it started long ago
so long i can't remember
might have been may, and it might 'a' been december
the boys in their pickups, hangin' out by the gate
'til her daddy come out yellin'
hey boys its gettin' late, now
eula.....everybody loves you
eula.....i love ya too, yeah
eula.....honey won't ya teach me
a thing or two that i can't learn in school
well the boy come down, down from missippi
the people all said he look just like a hippie
eula took a look at him the first day 'a' school
with his long hair, sideburns, yeah the boy is cool
down in the holler', in the dead 'a' night
doin' whatcha doin', whatcha doin' feelin' right
no one really knew exactly what went down
but two months later little eula left town
eula.....everybody loves you
eula.....i love ya too, yeah
eula.....honey won't ya teach me
a thing or two that i can't learn in school
we miss the sweet way, ya used to sashay
eula pretty girl, why did ya go
our hearts are breakin', we feel forsakin'
hey you were the heart 'a' dixie
eula.....everybody loves you
eula.....i love ya too, yeah
eula.....honey won't ya teach me
a thing or two that i can't learn in school
