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[livejournal.com profile] captain_phil
User Number: 2069869
Date Created:1-31-2004
Number of Posts: 3200

The mysterious hermit known as captain phil occupies some secluded woods in Eastern Kentucky. Some say he is in hiding from a shady crime lord in Kenova, some say he shot a man just for snoring too loud,there are even rumors of him being a former underwear model for Sears or possibly he had a windfall in some gambling. The world may never know. He is known sometimes as "The Don", "Philmon", "The Gangster of Boats", or sometimes just "Hey You!"
Strengths: Knows tons of bad jokes, can find a restaurant in a strange town, doesn't need a gps when there's a cigar store nearby, has tons of Gov't Mule shows stockpile, is a good dancer and can play a mean guitar... and there there's the homebrew and krautballs.. Rumored to also be able to sing "Oh Danny Boy", but this is unconfirmed. Also wears a kilt from time to time
Weaknesses: something known as "Que", or simply "Q", Hops, bluegrass, strong coffee, Jello Shots, cigars, cherry blend pipe tobacco, tequila, chianti, wild wild women, and any combination of the above
Special Skills: Flatfooting, Homebrewing, can find porn in unlikely places and that's just the stuff the government wants people to know about
Weapons: Taylor 614 CE guitar, flying feet of fury, blue eyes, pool cue, a hellhound, mad kitchen skills,among other scary things
WARNING...: If you encounter Captain Phil and he looks sober watch out, you may get an explanation about impedance mismatches, polyphase power systems, or worse! The best thing to do is to hand him a bottle of Newcastle Brown, Samuel Adams, IPA, Stout, a regionally brewed beer or if circumstances are limiting, an Icehouse. Do not give him a bottle of Chianti unless there is an audience.


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Captain_phil

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