(no subject)

[captain_phil]

Here's Today's

Today you might need to be extra attentive to your loved ones, PHILLIP. Although you could be preoccupied with some of your own concerns, somebody close to you might need you right now. For instance, your romantic partner might need some help handling something. Your kids could need assistance with a project. Allow time to be there for others. You'll feel good if you wear angel wings for a while.

and now a return to John Prine Monday And my choice is inspired by a conversation I had with sharkbait and puck_nut at Quaker Steak and Lube this weekend.



Please Don't Bury Me
©John Prine

Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Chorus:
Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose

Repeat Chorus

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don't pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It's a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye

Repeat Chorus

and now.. pics from






A Buddhist monk walks up to the hot dog vendor and says, "Can you make me one with everything?"


Units of measurement:

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = bananosecond

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 million microphones = 1 phone

1 million phones = 1 megaphone

365.25 days = 1 unicycle

2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

10 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 million billion picolos = 1 gigolo

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

10 millipedes = 1 centipede

3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent

10 monologs = 5 dialogs

2 monograms = 1 diagram

8 nickels = 2 paradigms

2 wharves = 1 paradox


and now some linkage!

Greatest Wrestling Rivalries
The Ten best Will Ferrell Skits
Lessons learned from 80s Cartoons

and for the record, I was onto the Smurfs being little blue Commies from day one!

Not a lot else this morning, It was too hot to sleep last night, sleep very well anyway. Hopefully I'll have AC today.